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Where’s The Love

June 10th, 2015

Thank you Kevin Smith for the suggestion.

The request, “Blog about how getting older with a decreased sex drive doesn’t mean we love our woman any less” seems to suggest that all men are in agreement on the topic. While that may not be true I think it there’s enough men who feel that way to approach it from that angel in the next paragraph. An example of when it’s not true would be a man falling out of love with a woman. He can no stand the way she talks, laughs, or anything else about her. There’s a sizable chance that his sex drive in regards to her has decreased. However even that isn’t always true. When I was young there was a girl who just irritated the shit out of me but I knew she was a sure thing so I would do it with every opportunity I had. It was like “One More Night” by Maroon 5. Eventually I couldn’t stand her so much that the even the sex wasn’t worth it. I have to admit that my irritation was not that young lady’s fault in any way. She was a sweetheart. I was just self centered and selfish; not a good match for anyone. Now that I’ve mentioned a couple of situations with the lack of love, lets talk about a situation where love is present.

If love and respect are a part of the package the amount of sex doesn’t dictate how much or how strong the emotions are. Though the article “Do We Have Sexual Peaks?” debunks the idea of sexual peaks I must admit I do buy into them. Males are going to be producing more testosterone at around 18 than their hormone factories will ever produce in the rest their lives. The same is true of women’s estrogen except it will happen in their late 20s or even 30s. Though I do believe there is significant psychological and sociological impact I also believe that all that heightened chemical activity has got to have some command in an individual’s sexuality. The reason I brought it up at all is the possibility that male peaks start first and end first and a female starting later and ending later sets the stage for our time to come. Call me old fashioned but I’ve seen it first hand and in the folks around me.

“How Aging Affects Male Sexuality” is a little unlubricated but takes us right to the core of this topic. Sometimes normal ware and tear such as producing less testosterone or decreased blood flow can decrease the sex drive. “Is loss of sex drive normal as a man gets older” ponders other possibilities for a decreased sex drive. It could be anything from stress or depression to the side effects of medication but age will almost always be a coupled factor.

I’ve been with my significant other for 27 years in August and I’ve never loved her more. That being said I’ve never been less interested in sex. I’m almost 47 and I’m content. Maybe that contentment is part of my reduced sex drive. I don’t care about spreading my seed as far and wide as possible like the young more primordial me did. While young men are concerned with quantity I think young women are concerned with quality. So women too (if everything goes right) become content with the quality male they have chosen. Still I think intimacy is important and contentment can become laziness. A couple owes it to themselves to be as sexually active as they can be for as long as they can be. There may have to be some common ground sought if there is a great disparity in their wants and needs. The two should always consider that they’re not the same and may be cycling differently and that an abundance of love does not equal an abundance of sex or vice versa. Until next time, keep your homes well.

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